For most of my life now, I've struggled with weight issues. I've carried more than my fair share of it for awhile now, and the older I get, it seems to just keep growing. Weight is something that we do not want more of as we age. Its something we should keep within a healthy range.
The reason we gain weight are attributed to different things in life. There could be medical problems, or medicines that causes it, lack of time, poor diet choices or just not caring to pay attention to ourselves. Sometimes, we just let life get in the way, and think, I'll get to that tomorrow. By not taking care of the "little" weight problem, has now become a major problem that's affected other parts of our lives.
I'm not able to speak on anyone else's be half but my own. I can say that by not paying attention to my health, diet and exercise is nobody else's fault but my own. No matter how many fingers I try to point the blame at, the truth of the matter is, I am an adult. I am my own person. There is no excuse for me to have allowed myself to get to where I am.
As a woman, a lot of our problems are that we want to take care of everyone else's needs before our own. That's all good in theory. Its part of the the woman's natural maternal instinct to nurture and care. However, its not going to do any good in helping others, if we are not taking care of ourselves first. If we don't take care of ourselves, then we are not going to be fully able to take care of those that we love the most. Its not being selfish if we are taking time for ourselves to get healthy.
There are people in my past, (Yes, there is a reason I said PAST,) who have said some really awful things to me because of my size. Sometimes, while criticizing my weight, they would be even more cruel if I were to tell them "NO" when asking a favor. Sometimes making me feel very guilty and ashamed of myself.
Recently I heard the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior with out your permission." Its such a true statement. For myself, I was letting others control my life by making me feel bad about the decisions I was making that affected them. Even if it meant if was changing my life negatively.
One of the things that I am learning along the way in life, is that if a person truly cares about you, they will love you no matter what. They will encourage you to make healthy choices. To cheer you on and stand by your side no matter what. Yes, there are going to be rough patches, but it will be worth it in the end.
Its going to be a hard transition, and its not going to be easy to take back control of my life. The emotions may run high from time to time and it will get hard. However, I know its going to be much better in the long run for me to start saying "Yes" to myself and the needs in my life, and "No" to what others need, or think I need to do. I just have to remind myself that its okay to be selfish once in awhile to take care of myself.
My weight may always be an issue for me, but its one that I want to get under control. My siblings are all having babies and I'd like to be around to see them grow up. I don't want them to think its OK to be the size I'm at today. They deserve to have an aunt in their life who is able to fully play and participate in their lives.