Simple things. Simple seems so small. We don't always think about the little, simple things that make up our everyday life. Well, because they are always there, and we don't always have to think about them. We take them for granted all.
There is so much power in a moment. No matter how simple and mindless it seems. Looking back upon my life, it seems that it is the small moments that have made all the difference in my life. Those little moments that built up over time without realizing it that lead to the greater, end result.
The last year and a half, my primary goal has been to get myself back to a much healthier state, physically. At least the physical aspect is what was the main focal point when I started because that was the most obvious and in most dire need because I was in really bad shape to begin with.
Little did I realize at first that I needed to work on the mental and emotional aspects as well. It was not until the Fit Challenge was almost over that I realized how important that my physical, mental and emotional states all depended on each other to work well in order for me to be completely healthy. I used to think they were all separate. Although I was physically out of shape, I really thought that I was okay emotionally and mentally.
In reality, I knew because of my physical state, I was lying to myself about how I was doing mentally and emotionally. Though others saw it, they knew that in order for the help to work, I had to come to terms with all aspects of it.
It is by no means easy for a person to admit that they need help. Losing weight is hard work if your on your own. To do it with the whole community watching, was even harder for me because I did not enjoy the attention that came with it. However, I was more than willing to accept the attention and try to remain positive about it because I desperately wanted and needed the help. When you are ready for the change, you will do what ever it takes to get to your destination. No matter the extremes you will take.
Sometime about half way through the process, I was getting frustrated with everything. I was at a point where adjustments were being made all at once with all aspects of the process. Adjusting to the new changes in my life were hard and making those changes accordingly were hard for me. There were times I was crying several times a day, for several days in a row. I didn't know how to accept or deal with the new changes and process them.
One day, my trainer looked at me and told me that I needed to just calm down and enjoy life. That I needed to enjoy the process of change, but to learn how to live life again as a normal person. For a good portion of the last eighteen months, I had been so focused on losing weight and getting healthy, I had forgotten to live my life.
Its still a work in progress for me to start doing "normal" things again, and simplifying my life now. Its getting easier for me to make out swaps so that I can do fun things with friends and family, doing fun things with them and learning to adjust my food intake according to my activity levels for the day. Learning to make those adjustments are necessary so that I am not stressing out any longer and putting myself in a situation where I am back over 300 lbs. like I used to be.
There are days that simplifying things is harder than it should be. However, as I purge out the old lifestyle, it is getting much better for me. I am making better decisions in my life about what I need for me and my needs, while hoping that my actions and decisions are a positive reflection of who have helped me greatly in my life and have stuck with me along my journey to a better person.