Being in Control of My Emotions

For most of my life now, I've struggled with weight issues.  I've carried more than my fair share of it for awhile now, and the older I get, it seems to just keep growing.  Weight is something that we do not want more of as we age.  Its something we should keep within a healthy range. 

 

The reason we gain weight are attributed to different things in life.  There could be medical problems, or medicines that causes it, lack of time, poor diet choices or just not caring to pay attention to ourselves.  Sometimes, we just let life get in the way, and think, I'll get to that tomorrow. By not taking care of the "little" weight problem, has now become a major problem that's affected other parts of our lives. 

 

I'm not able to speak on anyone else's be half but my own.  I can say that by not paying attention to my health, diet and exercise is nobody else's fault but my own.  No matter how many fingers I try to point the blame at, the truth of the matter is, I am an adult.  I am my own person. There is no excuse for me to have allowed myself to get to where I am. 

 

As a woman, a lot of our problems are that we want to take care of everyone else's needs before our own.  That's all good in theory.  Its part of the the woman's natural maternal instinct to nurture and care.  However, its not going to do any good in helping others, if we are not taking care of ourselves first.  If we don't take care of ourselves, then we are not going to be fully able to take care of those that we love the most.  Its not being selfish if we are taking time for ourselves to get healthy. 

 

There are people in my past, (Yes, there is a reason I said PAST,) who have said some really awful things to me because of my size.  Sometimes, while criticizing my weight, they would be even more cruel if I were to tell them "NO" when asking a favor.  Sometimes making me feel very guilty and ashamed of myself. 

 

Recently I heard the quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, "No one can make you feel inferior with out your permission." Its such a true statement.  For myself, I was letting others control my life by making me feel bad about the decisions I was making that affected them.  Even if it meant if was changing my life negatively. 

 

One of the things that I am learning along the way in life, is that if a person truly cares about you, they will love you no matter what.  They will encourage you to make healthy choices.  To cheer you on and stand by your side no matter what.  Yes, there are going to be rough patches, but it will be worth it in the end.

 

Its going to be a hard transition, and its not going to be easy to take back control of my life.  The emotions may run high from time to time and it will get hard.  However, I know its going to be much better in the long run for me to start saying "Yes" to myself and the needs in my life, and "No" to what others need, or think I need to do.  I just have to remind myself that its okay to be selfish once in awhile to take care of myself.

 

My weight may always be an issue for me, but its one that I want to get under control.  My siblings are all having babies and I'd like to be around to see them grow up.  I don't want them to think its OK to be the size I'm at today.  They deserve to have an aunt in their life who is able to fully play and participate in their lives. 

Accepting the need to change for myself, to be around for others.

There are moments in our lives that are monumental, ones that we will never forget. First kisses, first jobs, weddings, buying a home. This spring, my youngest sister will be making "The Walk" as she graduates high school.

 

There are so many things my baby sister has to look forward to in life. I'm excited for her and all the possibilities that she has in front of her. I am also very proud of the person that she is becoming as well. She is a beautiful young lady, with a heart of gold.

 

Her graduation is a big moment, and one that she will always remember. I want it to be special for her. For it to be perfect.

 

So as not to embarrass my sister, I'm going to do my best to lose between 20-30 lbs between now and the end of May when she graduates. It seems like a lot yes, however considering my size, I believe its do able. I also realize that there will be a lot more work for me to do after she graduates.

 

I understand that saying this it appears that I am wanting to lose weight solely for my sister and her upcoming graduation. I realize that for my weight to come off and stay off, I have to do it for my self. The want, need and desire all have to come from me. The desire to lose the weight is deep within my soul. I want to look good for my sister's graduation, and feel good about myself when it gets here.

My biggest desire in wanting to lose weight is not only physical. Its not just a desire to feel better physically, but emotionally and spiritual as well. By losing the weight, I know that I will feel better emotionally about myself, gain confidence and have a better handle on my spiritual life as well. I truly believe that all three are intra-connected.

 

The reasons that I want to lose the weight are countless, and many are connected. My biggest reason and most important is to finally do something for myself that makes me healthy. However, its also so that I can buy more time with my family and friends. To be around to see the big moments in life for my family and friends. There will be more graduations to go too, weddings, births of nieces and nephews. So many other things that I want my family to accomplish. This is why I want to lose the weight. To be around them and enjoy their success in life.

"Be The Change You Want To See" Mother Teresa

 

 

Its another new year.  Another round of resolutions to try and improve ourselves, that ultimately will be forgotten or given up on until next year.  In some cases, the need for improvement will be greater this time next year. 

 

I know for myself, there are a lot of changes within myself that I long to see greatly improved.  Its over whelming at times to think of what I'd like to accomplish.  It gets frustrating because I wish it could improve over night.  Though I know realistically, what I want to fix did not happen over night, and will not get fixed that way, neither. 

 

One of the things that I have decided this year is to tackle each situation one step at a time.  To first step back and access the broader issue so I can see the big picture.  By doing this, I can best decide how to reach my goals, even if it means by breaking down and asking for help in some way.  Even if it also means taking more than one year to reach all the goals that I want to reach.

 

One of the things that I am learning to do, is to treat myself better.  To gain more confidence in myself, and learn to do things with out needing approval from others.  Most of my life I have gone through life seeking the approval of others, wanting friendships that were in the end, baseless and meaningless.   That's going to stop this year as well.

 

I'm not saying all of my encounters with others were meaningless.  I've shared some really great, sincere moments with some very special people in my life.  Ones' whom I have met in different times and places in my life that I truly will treasure and carry on within my heart forever.  These friendships are true and genuine and what keep me real and in reality most days.

 

It are these people, along with my family that have inspired me to do better for myself so that I can share a much more productive lifestyle with them.  Making the necessary changes in my life in order to share life with them more fully.  After all, if I want to see changes in my life and the world around me, I have to start with myself first.  The first change I'll be aiming to improve is to have a more positive outlook on life.

 

The main thing that I have to learn through out this year though, is that although I am aiming for a rather large goal, there are much smaller steps, or goals that I have to reach first in order to get there.  The changes or goals may be small or seem simple enough, but in the end it will be worth the dedication and work once I get there. 

 

I am anxious to see the results of what the journey to a better me provides, as well as the adventures that I may have along the way. 

Am I building a fence, or tearing it down?

 "One must not tear down a fence unless you know why it was built." Robert Frost

 

 

Along life's journey for me, as I've settled down into a routine, I've put up an invisible fence between my heart and the world.  Right now, I'm not sure if its to keep my heart from breaking, or if I'm to afraid to let my heart be loved. 

 

Which ever the reason, I know that its not good, and the fence eventually will have to come down.  Granted, I know that I would have to be guarded and not allow myself to be naive and played like a fool. 

 

Yet, I know that I have to stop being so afraid.  So afraid that I'll be hurt again.  Its part of life and its bound to happen.  Even in the best of relationships, I know and realize that mistakes are bound to happen and the other half is bound to be hurt.  Yet, we must learn to move on. 

 

There are events that have happened within my life that had allowed the fence to go up.  Some of it was because I am too shy and embarrassed to speak up in crowds. 

 

A few years ago, I took a major risk and moved to Wyoming.  For no other reason than I wanted to try something new and wanted a change.  It was one of the hardest things I had ever done in my life because I knew not a single soul out there.  Yes, it was hard at first, very hard. 

 

A few months after arriving in Wyoming, I was feeling very lonely and had prayed to God that all I wanted was a friend that I could talk to.  Well, that night, I didn't get any phone calls from friends back home.  However, the next day, I did happen to meet a guy who had started working for the same company as I was. 

 

Over the next few months, he and I became friends. By the end of the summer when his contract was over and it was time for him to go back to his other responsibilities, he had knocked down a huge portion of the fence.  For the first time, in a very long time, I had started to finally feel like I was free again.  Since meeting him, though its still hard for me to accept others into my life on a permanent basis, its getting much easier for me. 

 

Its been four and a half years since he and I met.  We've both moved on in our lives and are in different parts of the world, (Literally.) We still keep in touch from time to time. In the time that since meeting him, I have learned to give others a chance. 

 

One of the most important lessons I've learned from my friendship with this man, is that I have to learn to just let things happen naturally.  Its hard at times, because there are time when I just want to rush things.  Also, I am learning to speak up when things are hurtful because the offending person may not know that what they are saying or doing is offensive.

 

There are people out there along life's journey that I've yet to meet.  One's that could change my life for the better, or just be part of the growing process.  What ever the reason they are there, it would be nice to have them there to enjoy instead of keeping a fence post between myself and them.

Learning to Destress

There are nights I lay in bed, and can not fall asleep no matter how tired I am.  As I am sure most everyone does from time to time.  These nights, the lack of sleep comes because I let my imagination get the best of me, or I end up worrying about things I have no control over.  Its hard on these nights to put my mind to ease, especially on the nights when I know that I'll have to be up early the next morning, in which case I'll worry that I would over sleep and be late.

These nights are starting to happen a lot more than I would care to admit.  On more than one occasion, I've gotten such little sleep in such a short amount of time, I've ran myself down enough to get sick.  Which is never good. 

As I sit here writing this, I know that my habits have got to change, so that I'm not staying up half the night letting my mind wonder off or worry about things I've got no control over.  The habits that I have during my daytime, waking hours have got to change so that come bed time, its a more restful, peaceful part of my life that I can feel more relaxed and put together during the day.

I realize also that there are a few things that I need to figure out how I am going to fix or change in my life so that I don't stress out as much.  Yet do it in a more productive way, and not work on stressful projects so close to bed time if I know it'll keep me up half the night. 

Granted, I have always been more of a night person.  Yes, I realize that its unhealthy, and that I should take care of my business stuff during the day.  Its just harder for me to break certain habits, and I realize that I have to learn how to go about life from a different perspective than what I am doing now. 

Right now, I'm hoping that by the end of December, I'll have some sort of plan put together so that I can get my life organized much better than what it is now.  I don't expect it to be perfect.  I just hope to have a plan put together that will get me on the right path to a healthier, happier me.

Finding Good Quality Plus Sized Clothes

During times of economic down-turns, we all have a tendency to be a little more stingy with our money.  We don't like to hand it out as freely as before.  Not that we purposely try to be loose with our money when times are good.  Its just natural to be more cautious with how we handle it when the budget has to be tightened.  This is true for families and for businesses alike.
 
Something we all still need, despite economic hardships is buying clothes.   It can be hard for a family to properly clothe everyone within a reasonable budget unless you shop the clearance sales and buy clothes for the kids in larger sizes for the next year in sizes that are pretty close to what they will be wearing at that time. 

 

When I am out buying clothes for me, its such a chore. All of my adult life, I have struggled with my weight.  It likes to go up, when I try to get it to go down.  The problem  with that is that it is hard to find clothes that I like, that are cute, and fit at the same time.  Its really rare that I find something off the rack that I really do sincerely like because the majority of the time, I have to settle for something that just fits. 

 

To me, my style is simple.  I like basic wardrobe pieces, like oxford shirts, cable knit sweaters, basic shell cardigans, blazers, regular jeans and khaki's.  Something that I can wear anywhere and look nice in.  Most of the time, I like my tops to be basic solid colors because as a plus sized person, I don't think we should be wearing prints that are large.  If there are prints on the tops, they should be smaller, in my opinion, so as not to draw so much attention to the weight.  I like to wear things that makes it look like I care about my appearance and that I try to make an effort.  Very seldom would I ever be seen out in public wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants unless I am doing yard work or working out in the gym. 

 

Due to my size, I know that I will have to pay more for my clothes than a lady who is much smaller than myself.  I understand that, and though I hate paying more for it, its something I've accepted it. At the same time, I expect that what I am getting is going to be a good quality piece of merchandise that is going to last me awhile, regardless of its on clearance or I pay full price for it.

 

 Like most people nowadays, I've gotten in the habit of buying things online.  This is how I've been doing the majority of my clothes shopping for a few years now.  I've had really good luck with it, up until this last time that I ordered clothes I needed for work.  For my job, I am on my feet several hours a day bending, twisting, squatting and who knows what else, so I am going to need nice clothes, that are made of good quality material that will be able to last.  I kept that in mind while ordering my new work pants. 

 

Upon receiving my new clothes, and wearing the pants to work for the first time, I was extremely disappointed in the item.  The pants were made of a very cheap, thin material.  Not an hour into my shift, I made a slight twist to put an item on the counter, and the seam on the side of my new pants ripped apart a couple inches. (Yes, the pants did fit properly, and were actually a little loose on me.)  Lucky for me, I was wearing a long tunic, and it covered the wardrobe malfunction long enough for me to finish out my shift.

 

I understand that I am paying more for my clothes as a plus sized person because I know I'm getting more material.  Since I am paying more, I want that garment I'm spending my hard earned money on to be of equal caliber and quality as that as an average size female.  Not something cheaply made and put together.  Designers, please start making better quality, sturdy clothes that will make us look not only nice, but something that will last more than a few times.  Trust me, I will be more than willing to pay for the better quality if I know its going to last.

 

Even though I like to be extra stingy with my money, I will be more than willing to hand it over to a company that is trustworthy that makes a good, quality product that will stand the test of time.  I hate to just through my money down the drain when there is no reason too. 

Embracing My Imperfections

Everybody has things within their life they would love to improve.  Things they obsess over that they see has a problem and just absolutely hate.  I'm not any different with this.  My biggest issue with my life is my weight.  Yet there are other things that I'd like to change as well, but admittedly, my obsession with my weight gets in the way so often, that I forget to work on the other things. 

We all have imperfections and flaws.  Things that can be improved upon, or just accepted because they can not be fixed.  Yet, at the same time, these traits are part of our unique character that makes us who we are.

When we say that we say that we hate, or dislike these flaws, imperfections, we are saying we hate ourselves.  Its a bit contradictory because we all have friends or loved ones who have the same flaw, and we love them despite their flaw.  In fact, if its welcome, we'll help our loved one who seeks help with their flaw.  We encourage them along the way til they reach their goal, comfort them when they feel down.

I am starting to learn to accept my flaws for what they are.  They are part of who I am, and help make me who I am.  For me, my weight is my biggest flaw.  Yes, there are times I can't see past that to see the great things about me that also make me who I am.  There are times that I have to remember to tell myself, that I am an amazing person because of other reasons, and I can't let the 200 extra pounds I carry get in the way of that. 

One of the things I'm learning also, is that I have to stop holding myself back, and allow myself to move forward and take risks.  So many times, I've not allowed myself to move forward because I was afraid of the rejection I may receive because of my weight.  In my mind, I'd fail at what ever it was I'd wanted even before starting to process, so I never took the first steps to try. 

That is something I am working on to improve.  To go after all my goals.  To love myself  enough to know that I am worth the risk.  Even if nobody else believes in me, I know myself and my capabilities to know what I can do. 

Its going to take some time, yet from now on, I am going to do my best to embrace my imperfections and flaws enough to move forward in life.  Once I do that, all my other dreams can come true.  Once I start to focus on other stuff, perhaps all the other things will fall into place. 

Making a Plan

Not long ago, I was doing some research on the internet.  During this research, I came upon this quote, “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.”    ― Harvey MacKay.

 

It made me think awhile, about how true of a statement it is.  During my younger days while I was in high school and college, there were many dreams that I held for myself that were pretty big, and some were far out there. Some of those dreams have come true, while others have not. 

 

The  ones that have not come true, is because I have not put together an effective plan, or disciplined myself enough to make those dreams come true.  No matter what my dreams or goals are, in order for me to get there, the work has to done, with a workable and realistic goal. 

 

One of my biggest goals, as I have mentioned on here many times, is that I need to lose weight.  That, I know is going to happen over a period of time.  Its going to take a lot of patience, determination, as wells as sweat and I am sure tears and possible blood.   To reach that huge goal, I know there has to be smaller realistic goals that I can set. 

 

There are many others goals that I am considering setting for myself.  At the moment, I am not willing to share them.  Without putting together a plan or a motion, I need to keep those quite and work ones that need to take top priority.

 

There are many things out in this world that anyone of us could do. The ones that is most important to us, or our personal desires will succeed if we put forth the effort, and execute a plan.  Sure, there are going to be stumbles along the way.  But that's what makes us much stronger people in the long run if we don't have a few battle scars or interesting stories to tell along the way. 

Seriously??

Over the last few weeks, I have been trying to figure out what needs to be done to improve my life for the better.  Taking inventory of my life and what area's I need to improve upon.  Ideally, I would like to click my heels three times like Dorthy did in "Wizard of Oz", but realistically, I know that its going to have to take hard work, and lots of it.

 

For all of my adult life, I have had issues with my weight.  To a degree, its bothered me, but mostly have left it go because I'd learned to accept it as who I am.  To me, my weight was just a visible flaw that the whole world could see.  I'd kept pretending that it was something I could just wish away, I'd wake up one day and it would all be gone.

 

Earlier this week, I broke down and bought a scale, so that I can monitor my weight much better now.  Needless to say, I don't like the number...AT ALL.  From this day forward, I am going to monitor what I eat more carefully.  I'm going to make an effort to exercises more and burn more calories than I take in so that I can get to a healthy weight.  This weight did not come on over night, therefore, I know its not going come off over night either.  Its going to take a lot of blood sweat and tears.

 

Some of the things I plan on doing is cutting out pop all together.  At this point, it shouldn't be too hard because over the last few weeks, I've been drinking a lot more water at home, and putting lemon in it.  Another thing I'm going to put a stop to eating out also.  Both of these will take away a lot of the caloric intake, but save me a lot of money in the long run as well.  With the eating out also, I'm not going to be stopping by the concession stand anymore at the movie theatre when I go also. 

 

I'm willing to take the chance on my health for once and take myself more serious now.  So that I can have the kind of life I've always wanted. 

Blindly Mis-Judging Others

There are many lessons that I have learned through out my life.  Some of them I have learned through text books and going through the educational system.  Most of them I have also learned through life's experience's.  Some is a combination of both. 

 

One of the lesson's I've learned as a life lesson, is not to judge another person.  Its not fair to the other person to wrongly mis-judge them in anyway, shape or form regardless of its good or bad.  Regardless if the person knows what others may think of them, its an unfair stereotype they may  not be able to break free of.

 

Like many others, I too, have fallen victim to being mis-judged.  Mostly, its because of my weight, and the misconception that because of my weight I am unable to do a lot of things that an average sized person can do.  Yes, I am realistic about what my large body can do, yet at the same time, I have the image of my much smaller self in my brain and refuse to give in to the larger body.

 

Most recently, or at least the latest misconception that I know of, about my weight, is that because of my size, I am not able to work the same long hours as everyone else that I work with.  There are days that we are all required to work 12-16 hours a day, all on our feet.  As most people know, that can be really hard on the body, no matter what the person's size is. 

 

We all know what are talents and bodily capabilities are.  We should all showcase them to the best of our abilities and not let others tell us what we can and can not do.  It's important for us all to push through the clouded mis-judgement of others.

Oh, The Places I Go

Being a single person, I am not very fond of cooking for one. This is why I LOVE to go out to eat.  Yes, there are times it is more expensive, at the same time, it gets me out of the apartment.  At the same time, I know I should make my own food because I know what's being put in my food.  This is especially important while your trying to lose weight.

When it comes to the food that I eat, and the places that I go, I am a creature of habit.  I will only go to the places that I know, and the food is good. In some cases, its because the company is great, even though I am eating alone.

On my way to work, I have to pass several places to eat.  My favorite place to stop and eat when I get the chance is The Thirsty Pony.  I have been going there for several years and sit at the bar since most of the time I am alone.  Yet,a  the company is great.  Over the years, I have gotten to know a couple of the employees there.  They are incredible people, and have never made me feel like I was just a single diner they wanted to get push along waiting for a bigger check.

The last few weeks, I have not been in for lunch because I've been trying to be more mindful of my budget and my dietary intake.  Yes, I know I am able to get salads while I am there instead of the mega burgers, that are ever so tasty. 

Another place I go, is the Chinese place by Wal-Mart mainly because I don't like to go grocery shopping hungry. Otherwise I end up spending twice as much on junk food, and other processed foods I don't need or want.

The other day, I decided to go to the grocery store and grab a few things I needed for the week.  This time I had decided to eat afterwards.  While I was there, I saw one of the employees from The Thirsty Pony.  I stopped and said hi for a moment and went back to my lunch. 

After I was finished with my meal and went to pay, I was informed that the employee from Thirsty Pony had paid my bill for me.  It was a pleasant and unexpectant surprise. 

I'll continue to stop at Thirsty Pony and give them my business because of the type of employee's I've encountered there in the years that I've met.  They are all really nice people and caring.  It's not just the free meal I got from the one employee.  The food is really good, and the people are better. 

The Importance of Visualization

One thing that is true with anyone who has a goal they would like to reach, they need a plan.  A way to get there.  The road may be difficult at times, but in the end the road traveled will be worth it. 

Also equally important, is that along the way the person visualizes them reaching their goal.  They go over it in their head many times, and goes over several obstacle along the way they may or may not arise to better prepare themselves so they can reach their goal.

Lately I have to remind myself that I have to visualize myself at varies stages within my journey in weight loss.  At different sizes, in different social and professional settings.  In good times and bad, these situations are important for me to visualize so that I am not stressing out later when they happen and begin to eat my emotions again.

 

I realize and understand that I would have to continue to put in the work and be dedicated to getting to a healthier place physically, but the visualization is a key component.   I'll give an example of how its important and key in a person's life.

 

 "I once heard a story about a soldier who was taken as a POW during a time of war.  He spent most of his time in a small cell. To pass the time he'd play golf in his head several times a day, practising his swing in different situations. When finally released  he came back to the States and Bob Hope invited him to play in the Pro-Am Tournament at Pebble Beach. Without picking up a club for three years, he shot a 76, the round of his life." Paraphrased from "Developing the Magic of Visualization by Billy Bondaruk.

 

I have heard many stories have how people have thought things through and visualized the end product or goal and it came out better then expected. 

 

So, that is why I am daily going to imagine myself getting thinner in different stages of  my journey. Not just the end result of being fit and fabulous.  I want to be able to visualize myself at various points where I can buy clothes off the rack, shop in the misses department, crossing my legs when I set, taking a few minutes off of my daily walks and having more energy to play with my nieces and playing longer with them. 

 

The end result will be amazing, but the journey will make me a better person along the way.

 

 

Shop like a Woman

Recently, I accepted a second job for the Christmas season.  This made me really excited because it meant that I wouldn't be bored this winter at all and it would get me out of the house doing something. 

 

While its a really good thing that I have the job, and I am thankful that I have it.  It also means that I have to go out and buy new clothes for it.  YEA!!!!  Not really.  Unlike most females, shopping is a complete and utter chore for me.  In fact, when it comes to shopping for myself, I consider shopping to be cruel and unusual punishment. 

 

If I have to shop, I normally stick to the very basics of what is required.  Khaki's, black pants, maybe a pair of jeans or too.  A couple basic t-shirts and sweaters, and as many oxford shirts as possible, (Mainly bought in the men's department.) 

 

One of the things I've been frustrated with is that when I go shopping, I see a lot of tops that have prints on them.   I do not like a lot of prints and try to avoid them. 

 

At my new job, I want to look good, and well put together.  I just need to learn how to be a female and shop like a woman.

Saying Good-bye to Facebook

Along the journey to get healthy, I was looking for ways to improve my life.  Ways I can make swaps and get rid of bad habits and replace them with good ones.  This is something that I occasionally have to upgrade and improve along the way as I am able to make adjustments so that I am not getting to comfortable.

 

Last week, I  made the decision, being of sound mind, to get rid of my Facebook account permanently.  Yes, I actually went through and deleted the account instead of just deactivating it for awhile and having the option of coming back to it like I have done in the past. 

 

During my off time, I was spending entirely way too much time at the computer, most times on Facebook playing games or seeing what others were up too. Never anything too productive.  As I am sure a lot of people are the same way that I was.  Though its nice to keep in touch with friends, I'd come to the realization, that I don't need to know every little detail of their lives, so long as each individual person knows the other cares.

 

In place of the time I used to spend on the Internet, I am aiming to replace it with more physically active things.  Like taking a walk, or even doing a simple task that I may have forgotten about.  Getting chores done sooner so that I can have more free time to do other fun things that I had not before.

 

I truly believe the amount of time I had spent on the computer perhaps has helped contribute to some of my weight problem.  By eliminating some of the problems, it will help me to get more active. 

 

In 2008, Disney released the movie Wall*E.   Towards the middle of the movie, you see the people on the space ship, all lounging in their chairs, relaxing.  The robots doing all the work for them, while they are sipping away on their beverages and getting fatter.  They don't realize there is a pool or a gym for them to enjoy. 

 

I really believe that if as a generation, we don't get up and move away from our computers and televisions, and all other modern technology, we are all going to be like the futuristic people in Wall*E.  Some of us already are. 

 

I don't want to be one of those sitting in a chair being lazy, having a computer doing everything for me.  Yes, there was in fact a time when I loved getting outside and playing sports.  Volleyball and softball were my favorite.  I used to walk up and down the hills of New Concord several times a day to get to my classes at the University.  Not so much not. 

 

By getting away from Facebook, I am hoping to get more active time outside, instead of being stuck inside.  I know it won't work for everyone, but for me, its an effort to save my life. 

Forgetting My Lunch

Since I've been trying to lose weight, I have been trying to prepare meals ahead of time, and then portioning them off in to smaller ones and freezing them so that I am not always cooking.  I can just pull something out of the freezer or frig and reheat.  Being a single gal it makes it  so much more convenient for me. Especially since I hate to cook.

 

It helps cooking the food myself because its made the way I like what I'm eating.  Yet at the same time, I know what is going into my food.  Personally, I hate salt, so I willing don't go out and buy salt, therefore don't put it in my meals.  The tough part is buying the food I need for my meals that have low sodium in it. 

 

The other day, my work day had doubled what I had originally planned on.  Granted, I knew about the change the day before. Knowing my day was going to be longer the next day, I had made several meals for the weekend since most of my hours for work are acquired during those three days.

 

When it was time for me to leave for work on my long day, I grabbed everything I needed...except for my lunch for the day.  Didn't think about it until after I was already on my way to work.  That frustrated me because I wasn't sure what I was going to eat during my lunch. 

 

That night, when it was time for me to take my lunch break, I ended up eating a frozen lasagna. While I was eating, I read the back of the box to read the nutrition label.  There were 980 grams of sodium in it.  I was completely disgusted by this.  A little is okay, but to have almost 1000 grams in a small pasta serving is ridiculous. 

I'm more upset with myself for forgetting my lunch, because I would not have been in that situation.  Next time, I will be take my lunch with me so that I'm not consuming something that has so much sodium and processed food.